I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize