I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
