that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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