I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
