There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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