And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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