i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
