well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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