I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
