all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
