Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
