Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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