And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
