he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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