this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
