Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
