Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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