so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
