That's intense
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
