Whod you bang
We're facebook friends in real life
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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