they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
