i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
