I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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