Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
