We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
