Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
