Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
