I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
