i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
