Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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