good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize