he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
