she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
