Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
