just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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