**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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