I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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