New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
