You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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