He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
