wanna go halves on a baby?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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