He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize