you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
