I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
