I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
