I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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