after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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