We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
