Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize