Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize