I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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