I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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