he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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