a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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