Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
