imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
