I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
