my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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