Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize