So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
