i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
