I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
